Days like these rock :)

Dear today, you rocked! I am so proud of myself once again for eating healthy over eating bc it tastes good! Yesterday I was telling  the husband that I was craving some Tams burgers because,c'mon they are just so good, just thinking about one makes my mouth water! Haha but after getting to work and seeing that everyone had gotten tams and realizing that I would save money and eat less carbs if I just ate the meals that I had made at home. So I passed on the tams and just ate my lunch without stealing a single French fry, that my friends, is a serious achievement! 

This morning before work Monty and I woke up early so I could take him to a job agency so he could apply for a second job. Although we love his current job we are just struggling financially so we have to look for something that will pay the bills. So after that I came home and had some me time and was able to do my make up before I went into work and such. During this little make over I looked at my face and realized that I felt pretty and some what skinny, well skinnier than Monday. I  feel good, I feel like this is working and I really like it. I went running again today and then did my insanity so I'm pretty beat. Just wanted to update for you guys! Thanks for the support!

Tootsie roll work outs

   So I am proud to state that today I completed the third day of insanity,woohoo! I am so proud of myself for getting through the rut of today and working on my fitness. Last night I even cooked a healthy meal! My husband has been very supportive, although I wish he would join me on the insanity part. I'm thankful that he supports me and sits in the car while I run a mile at the park because he's scared something might happen to me, it's the little things. Well so far I don't think I've lost anything other than water weight or just last weeks digested meals. I feel good, feeling sore is better than feeling sorry for myself tomorrow. I do crave a cheeseburger from Tams though, maybe if I get one tomorrow ill run 3 miles and do some insanity, I'll also make sure I don't eat anything other than that tomorrow.Or I can Just skip it.

So after I got home today my sister Veronica came over with the puppy we got her and my niece last week.Monty had seen a video on YouTube on how you can make sweaters out of socks for doggies so when I brought him to our place(we live behind my parents and my sis technically went to visit momma)we decided it would be super cute to make him a sweater! I looked through my sock drawer,assuming husband socks might be stinky and far too big,haha, I found this sock I've had for years, I don't even think it was ever truly mine to begin with but it ended up in my sock drawer. We cut the toes off then cut slits in the heels, then we made the sock a little shorter by trimming the end and viola, he's an adorable tootsie roll!my mom loved it along with sis and nephew and niece. I'm pretty proud of myself for making this adorablenes even cuter! Well that is all of the update I've got for you today! With love, 

REstart

  So  exactly 60 days ago I put myself on a sixty day challenge to try and do INSANITY from beginning to end and promised all of you that I would  be updating,keeping  you motivated and so on and so forth. Well if any of you have been keeping up with my life and my recent blog post you will know that due to my anxious state of mind I was unable to keep my promise.Well in these past two months I've been pretty low, it's just been hard for us. I feel like I've gained some unnecessary pounds and I don't feel healthy. So much of me wants to change and I feel like I've been trying and giving up and it's just not good. I guess one big thing  is that I've been eating a lot of junk and not watching what I'm eating. I decided that it would be great to REstart. I mean I'm not perfect, I'm human we all make mistakes so I'm going to try once more. I started today, my husband even joined me for a mile walk/run at liberty park. Then I came home and started insanity allover  again!

                

I feel great right now and I just want to keep moving forward with this!i want to try a 10 day juice cleanse and then start eating cleaner. But I will try my best to get down in weight and size within 60   Days from now, right before Christmas!I really want to look good on Christmas and New Years so I'll make that my goal! 

Xoxo mayra s. 

the one thing that brings me the most JOY....

Is hearing a baby laugh. I mean almost instantaneously i am just filled with absolute joy to the point where i could cry just thinking about a baby laughing. it is the happiest expression in the most virtuous and lovely form ever. I sit here thinking about all the things that bring me happiness in life because lately, i've been a little pessimistic, and i don't like thinking like that because, ahem helllooo ...anxiety
Ive been reading other blogs and lately i ran into a blog about this family whos mom had a seizure at the grocery store, mother of 5, has a baby. Well that seizure was caused by a cancerous tumor in her brain, her brain. oh goodness. i can cry right now. i felt so terrible reading about it, i wish i could send her some much positivity, i send it via knee mail for sure. But in her blog, you would never guess she's probably more anxious in life than me, i couldn't even think of relating our anxieties. One thing i loved about this woman was her positivity about it all, how she knew she was going to get through it, and how she is going to FIGHT for her life, for her CHILDREN. so strong. I mean i cried when i found out she had cancer, this is a real story, this is a real woman, this is real life. it can be so sad at times, so full of sorrows and trials, but oh can we fight it. we can get through it.

we can get through it.

one thing that i loved hearing from my uh,therapist (sounds so weird to say i have a therapist) is that in order to get things BETTER, we have to take a risk, without taking a risk, we are STUCK. so we gottta take a risk, it may be OH so scary, we may not want to do it, but it has to happen in order to get things better. i am getting anxiety just thinking about it. but it is true, we have to take a little leap, we've gotta have faith. we gotta do GOOD.

i have come to realize that my irrationalities don't control me, i control me. i act upon myself, i choose what i let in my mind, and at tthis moment, and forever, i will choose good, i will choose happiness, i will always choose righteousness and i will always choose my LOVING Heavenly Father.

It is october, so we, LDS folk, are eager for a great weekend full of guidance from our Prophet Thomas S. Monson, to hear uplifting talks that are meant for all of us. I cannot wait, my heart is dancing.

Thank you. thank you for taking the time to read about my life and remember, find your happiness, be in control, and do the right thing. always.

Mayra d. Stevenson

:)

I owe you an explanation.

So,  let me start by apologizing to anyone who was going to join me in this 60 day challenge by telling you that I am Sorry. In the last few weeks i've had some of the WORST anxiety i've had since before my wedding and I even had to go see a therapist. I just got too caught in my thoughts and just got super overwhelmed with a lot in my life that I just needed to relax and not put more onto my plate. I am feeling a whole lot better thanks in par to my wonderful and supportive husband, my wonderful and understanding family and the members of my amazing Church. They put so much positive into my life on a daily basis! I have no idea how much more of a head case I would be without the gospel in my life.  So from this day forward I will take things one day at a time because right now, I need to. Anxiety is seriously no joke for me, I have gotten it since I was in high school and I can vividly describe to you my first panic attack. It was no fun what so ever and it isn't now. Let me explain to you that anxiety is very common, it's one of the most common of mental health issues people seem to deal with and it makes me feel so great that I am not alone. I'm  currently going therapy to get to the root of this wonderfulness so I can manage it without taking any medication! I have opted out of anti depressants due to the fact that I do not want to 1.get hooked 2. become worse  and 3. actually become depressed (which i am NOT)- anxiety to me is completely different than anything i've heard about depression, my anxiety does get me sad at times but i feel like its something that just runs in my blood and I can totally do it on my own and with family because we all have it. JOY. Any who, I felt like i owed you an explanation to my inconsistency with the "60 Day Challenge." I hope if any of you who have or have ever experienced anxiety and panic attacks not just your common "worry" can find solace that there are people out there with the same issues and YOU CAN GET THROUGH IT! Just find the right outlet of your stress and PRAY, oh goodness PRAY for comfort and you will be in good hands! I am still in my recovery but this week has already been such a progress for me  from 1 panic attack a day (SO NOT FUN) to mayybe some anxiety here and there..

I love you guys, and remember, you are NEVER alone!!

Mayra S.

day 3.

So, I cannot lie to you, I made you a promise but last night i was having some major anxiety so i was not able to do my insanity BUT i can tell you that I did get some exercise in and although it wasn't insanity kind of exercise, it was exercise! So with that off my chest i can tell you that today I did insanity and I felt like i was going to DIE! lol. My anxiety hadn't worn off from last night, actually I've had anxiety consistently the past few weeks, i'm not one to use medication so i just do some relaxation exercises that I found on Kaiser's website that really have helped me out these past few days! ANYWHO, I realized today that not only is meditation and prayer an amazing stress reliever SO is exercising! It was nice to get out my frustrations at my own self for having anxiety and so forth so it felt good to get those emotions out, i also tend to randomly cry which helps too. Any who, today was such a progress for me, I now know what I can do to make me feel better and I love it! I've been watching my portions as well on food and have been substituting soda's for agua! I'm excited to be able to share this with you and I find comfort in knowing that I have your support! Thank you for all your kind motivations, this is only the beginning of the battle but here we go! :)

xoxo

Mayra

Day 1.

Like I promised you all, here is my first post! After a few hours of being lazy and cuddling with the cutest puppies in the world, i put on my sports bra and regained control! Statistically and on paper, my body does not show well what so ever. with a starting weight of a whopping 180 lbs (YIKES!) i am not at all content where i stand, sit or even lay for that matter! My hips are wider than a tow truck and i can go on and on about how my measurements just arent appealing, but i wont. I will start by saying that this is the end, this is the end of those pesky pounds sitting so unappealing on my hips, goodbye to the backfat that loves to make a cute top look like the ugliest shirt you've ever seen. farewell. i know that this progress will NOT be overnight,i will HAVE TO work hard, i will HAVE to stay motivated, but i made all of you a promise, so here i go trying to keep it! Insanity is not for the sane, i sit here sweating my face off just from the fit test that i so greatly did terrible at! Here are so pictures of me, large and in charge, but hopefully next time i post some pictures, 2 weeks from today, you will notice a difference...

xoxo

Mayra