Things are so different today. so different than they were 4 months ago. I was looking back on old blogs and re-reading the horrible time I was having when I published them. It honestly makes me so depressed to rethink of the time that was Jan-March 2011. What hell. I couldn't be happier today. Life is getting so exciting lately, I have an amazing man in my life who just knows how to love me, and gives me all of the things I could ever want from someone. He's my everything. Lately, I feel like that grown up girl i wanted to become a few months ago. I'm way more secure than I've ever been, and I am definitely way more in Love with someone than i've ever been.
A few weeks ago, Mona got a job working with my brother in law at Puma out in Torrance, he was placed on Swing shift, meaning his hours are from 4:30PM to 3:00 AM Monday thru Saturday. I'm dying over here. As things continue to escalade in our relationship, our time together seems to get less and less. We actually went and looked at rings yesterday. WOW.WOW.WOW.crazy i know, sooo exciting, most definitely. This boy is mine forever! Well, i need a ring to finalize that statement first but, it's definitely the goal we are working towards!! FINALLY. someone who understands me, who loves me, even my imperfections and insecurities. He loves me through it all. Finally a boy who isn't here to play games, a man with real emotions and someone who is selfless and gives of himself for my happiness. FINALLY.
I remember having a dream about a man who would be the father to my baby a few months ago and getting this feeling during the dream about how much of a stranger he was but how i knew that i loved him: Mona,has had a crush on me for a while and i've always had an attraction to him, but i always thought he was someone who wouldnt be interested in someone like me. apparently im very wrong. to continue with the dream, my "husband" in this dream loves me and the baby unconditionally: mona always puts me first. i may get insecure at times and grow fear of what could happen and if things don't work out how much i would die instantely, but i relate this feeling to that dream because thats the love i remember feeling in that dream! It's kind of crazy to relate what is going on now to what i dreampt about that night, but it makes so much sense. He always puts me first, and that's all ive ever wanted, to actually and geniounly be loved by someone who i love. to have true and real love, and i've found it.
I'm sooo thankful for standing in holy places, for following the spirit and for joining the LDS church. I'm no where near perfect, and i know perfection could never fully be reached but I do know that I am so happy now, knowing that life is the way it is because of the choice i made 3 years ago, to become a MORMON. to live like Heavenly Father would want me to live and to be closer to my savior. None of this wouldve happened if I weren't a member of this church, and i'm so thankful I made THAT giant leap and made THAT decision.
keep looking up :)
Mayra D.
